soft thoughts

I sit here contemplating the future. You know you really have no control over other peoples happyness. One moment you may think so but really even if you love someone you really cant do anything to make things better. I mean having a conversation with someone can be intentionally wonderful and full of joy. And then the next moment it can become all melencoly and somber and may even make you cry.
It wanting that other person to feel better and knowing that you may not be able to stop their loss of hope or whatever it may be.

Im not talking about anyone or any thing inparticular.

roses are red violets are blue
God I love you

My Best friend

Theres a wonderful person who i love very much. Shes a very bright and witty and punney girl lol. Her eyes are very green and her hair has soft bouncy curls or she has her cute bangs. I would do anything for her. She is so great. I have needed her more and more over the years and we have so much fun together. Shes a very interesting girl. She once drew a graffiti picture on facebook that looked so real. She has a talent. I wish that she would see the beauty that I see in her. Sometimes she has troubles but that has never bothered me. It makes me able to be needed. I have watched her grow and change over time and she really has a lovely life. I am so proud of her. Her love for God is beyond most peoples understanding.

She has the most beautiful love with her husband. He is a special man. I always told her that the man who would love her and cherish her was out there. Then she found her wonderful Hubby. The love he has for her makes me so greatful and pleased because when I cant be there for her I feel good that I know she is well taken care of. I am very protective of her because she has been through more than a persons share of bad things. And to see her surrounded by such loving family and husband and friends makes me happy.

I pray that everyone will see the world through her fresh eyes. She sees the world for its beauty and she sees God in all of it. She trusts in God in a way that all of us should only hope to aspire to.

I hope that everyone out there has a friend who is that way.

day 3 or 4 of no smoking

Wow its been an adventure so far. I mean its very amazing at how much will power I seem to have. More than I thought I would. My bf and I were just talking on the phone about our not smoking thing. And he was saying how I was making excuses of how I wouldnt be able to do it. I knew I was feeling weak about even thinking about quitting. And I have now gone days with out a smoke or even a smoking aid of any kind. I am craving one right now but I dont want to smoke because I am trying to be strong.

I have been going for lots of walks to distract myself from having a smoke. I walked around westwood lake tonight with one of my friends and it was awesome. My friend was like here , and he handed me one of his smokes and he said just hold on to it. And strangely it did help. I told that to my bf and he said yeah its about breaking the habit of the addiction too.

I might end up having one of the smoking aid losenges which would sooth my craving but I am trying to resist.

I loved going to the 7/11 after the big walk around the lake and having a slurpee. mmm so refreshing and bonus I found a movie for sale it looked nice and girly yay now I have something cool to watch tomorrow.

today

I have really enjoyed being on my day off. I have to work tomorrow but thats ok. Just tomorrow then I have the weekend off so life is great. I went and hung out with my friend Sherry and we had a lovely visit. She is such a calming person and we have wonderful talks. She has wonderful decorations in her place. I was talking to her about getting some big red velvet curtains for the living room which I think would look so pretty.

She and her husband make wine so I get to taste their latest batches when I go there so its very interesting to see what they will have. I got to taste blackberry wine very yummy.

I am listening to the music Florence + the machine right now. The song girl with one eye. Its such a good song She has a powerful voice.

thisearly mornin

This early morning i have become very tired.
I did finally start working at Tim Hortons and things are good. And I have moved out of my dads now which has made life way more happy and peaceful for me. I have a wonderful bf who is away right now for the military and he comes back at the end of the summer. I look forward to it very much. It had been a chalenge having my hunney away and renos are being done downstairs and so many other things are happenin. I get to talk to him every night mostly. Except when he is in the field doing stuff in the bush then we dont talk unil he is back at the base.
I am trying to quit smoking and man is it ever hard. I went for a really long walk today and it did help. I still havent had a smoke so I am doing pretty good I would say. But i can feel the body craving. I do really want one but there is nothing I can do about it right now. I did get nicorette losenges which i will take tomorrow so that i dont have a smoke. I dont want to have one before bed though. I will be sleeping soon.

music and life

I love this music by city and color its this guy who has an incredible voice and plays guitar. Its inspiring. My fav song is so low, and in water i am beautiful. Amazing sound and it fill you up with sound. Another of my fav songs is called sometimes. I have heard his music where he is on stage and inbetween songs when he is tuning to different tuning he talks and its nice to see a person having fun.

I am still waiting to find out when I start at Tim Hortons. The boss there said I will get put on the schedule very soon but it may be another week or two. I know waiting is hard but at least I will have a full time job when this is done. There is someone who just got fired and two people that are pregnant who are leaving soon so i will get to have their hours.

I get to go on an adventure soon at 10am. And my counterpart is bringing me a coffee so i am excited. I have no idea where we are going me and Bella and a friend.

I just bought a new guitar yesterday and I love it. I wanted a smaller one I still have one but needed something a bit smaller.

a big desicion

I might go back to tim hortons because I want a full time job
this is my big dilema I want to move out of my dads place and back on my own. its what I really want. and the job I have is nice but its not full time and I have no idea if I will ever be able to get fulltime so I dont want to live in this house forever so I have no idea what to do.
I am gonna go and talk to my old boss today after I pick up bella from school
I really need to know what my options are.
I am gonna look at places to rent online today too
my life needs a change now
I wonder what will happen